Start from the Beginning
by okapis
Summary: Beginnings are always rough, endings are always impossible. Between them will be forever more the dangerous road less traveled.


**Author's note: **

**This has no relation to my other story. This came from my recent viewing of the entire Teen Titans series on DVD during a 25.5 hourish marathon that I hosted on New Years. Watching something all at once is good for the ideas. Raven is seventeen and Beast Boy is fifteen.**

**I don't own the Titans, nor am I making a profit from my works.**

**---**

Start from the Beginning

There are still many things even now that we don't know about each other, and that we don't expect to ever find out.

I know first hand what it's like to know a terrible secret, and what it's like when somebody else finds out. I couldn't blame them though. How were they to know me as I knew myself? I never expected them to know who I was and what I was for, and so they didn't. Not that I knew much about them in the beginning either. A name, an attack, the face value. It was all we had for those first few agonizing days.

None of us were that interested in sharing our secrets, and for the longest time we didn't even know each other's ages. I hardly even knew how we all came to be living together in a giant 'T', but I realized that that was what happened, and from thereon in I wasn't going to be alone any longer. Physically speaking, of course. I can remember a little bit of our first official meeting that we had to hold in the living room because we hadn't yet designed an actual room for the purpose of said congregation. Up until then, I hadn't really been around anyone to give them the chance to speak with me. It was hard for all of us to take those first few steps, not because we were cautious, but because we knew we were instead going to have to take leaps. Leaps of faith in a crowd who had met three days ago.

I clearly remember Cyborg trying to talk to Robin about finalizing the Tower plans- all we'd had finished up until that point were our rooms, the living room, and the kitchen. I know we only had one washroom.

Cyborg was very reserved and hardly spoke unless spoken to. It came from his anxiety of being judged because of his unsatisfactory conditions, how he forwardly appeared. I guess nobody really bothered to tell him that didn't matter, because it still bothers him today. I don't even know if I'm brave enough to do it, mostly because I'm not sure he'd take it the right way coming from me.

Starfire spoke very broken English and was not familiar with anything earthly. Granted, neither was I. I was from a separate dimension altogether. She was quick to take offense from anything one said to her, and would often overreact when presented with a problem she would have to solve herself, such as deciding which floor she wanted her room to be on.

Beast Boy was pretty forward and upbeat, and I was admittedly too scared to scan his overbearing emotions. He mostly yelled about things with Cyborg, who at first wasn't interested in anything he had to say. There was a particular argument they had once that occurred because Beast Boy was too young to play most of the video games Cyborg owned. That had been the first time he had ever called him a Grass Stain, and I can still see his child-like face holding back a few stray tears, an unpredicted reaction from what had been intended to be a humorous hyperbole. He would later tell me all about himself, so I could figure out his touchiness, but at the time I just figured him to be a get-my-way cry-baby. Starfire once asked him why his skin was green, and he'd ignored the question.

That's mostly what we were busy doing; ignoring each other. It was like we all lived separate lives in the same place. It didn't hinder me though, because I knew from experience that beginnings are always rough.

Almost three years later, we were like family. Robin was the sealant that kept us tight and held us close, and it was strange to know that he had once worked with a man like Batman. He used to tell us stories about his days as a sidekick, and I learned about people like the Mad Hatter and the Scarecrow. He doesn't talk much about those days anymore, but he shared them with us. He let us in. Starfire didn't miss a beat, and latched onto him the second he opened his doors.

On Beast Boy's thirteenth birthday, I found out that he couldn't read and had never gone to school; I had given him a book about exotic birds. He confided to me in secret that he couldn't read it because he didn't know how, so I used to teach him on Monday afternoons if we weren't busy. His only reason for his lack of education was that he had been with the Doom Patrol since he was very young. I knew there was more, but didn't push it. I know everything now, anyways. We didn't talk much outside of the reading lessons.

Cyborg spent days in his garage building things like rockets and generators to always improve the tower. I occasionally helped, if only to spend time with more than one person. I never told him I didn't enjoy working on his projects, and he still doesn't need to find out.

Before long, I knew we'd hit our glory streak. It was the point where you are no longer just a team, but you are the closest of friends. We became so close by working out the kinks and seeking victory in our trials. The day came when they finally found out who I was, and soon followed the end of the world. Even then, that did not stop us. We've survived alien outlaws, clones, villains retrofitted with the highest new form of technology (aka, Cyborg), and even an encounter with the Brotherhood of Evil (therefore facing the Doom Patrol). And we had done it together.

But where does one go from here? I know the beginning, and I know the middle, but have I given any thought to the end? I suppose I never really considered it- I wasn't supposed to live past my sixteenth birthday, after all. I wasn't just concerned for myself, I was also curious as to what the others were planning to do. Cyborg isn't even a teenager anymore. I remember sitting in my room, not meditating, and just thinking about what to do next. I didn't know, and maybe they didn't know either. But there is one thing that I am sure of here and now. The Teen Titans cannot exist forever.

---

"What are you going to do when there's nobody left?"

"Hm?" hummed Beast Boy, across from her at the table. "What do you mean?"

Raven brushed a stray hair behind her ear. "I worded that wrong. What would you do if we all left? The team, I mean."

"Are you going to leave?"

"No."

"Then why does it matter?"

"We can't be the Teen Titans forever, Beast Boy."

Beast Boy twiddled his thumbs and watched them. "I'm surprised Cy isn't gone yet."

Raven didn't flinch. "Why is that?"

"He's older than us, you know? He turns twenty in two months. You'd think he'd go off and get like a million degrees or P.H.D.s or something."

"You'd think."

"At least he'd be able to take care of himself."

"What do you mean?"

He looked up. "Well, you can all go off and live on your own. I'm too young. Nowhere to go, dude. I mean, Raven."

"What about the Doom Patrol?"

"Mento and I don't exactly see eye to eye."

"Oh." She looked like she'd regretted mentioning it at all.

"You know Robin and Star got into a fight again? Because Robin keeps going back to Gotham for days at a time and keeps quiet about it."

Raven met his gaze. "That's what got me thinking."

"Huh?"

"I think Robin is going to go back to Gotham soon. Jump City is to small for him. It's just a playground. I think that's why Starfire is angry."

"I guess that sorta makes sense. But you know if he leaves, Star will go as well. And if you're planning to leave too-."

"I am not leaving."

"We're all going to leave eventually. That's what super teams do, we split up. Sometimes dramatically for reasons unknown." Beast Boy smiled. "It can't just be me and you."

"Well then," she started. "I guess you can leave if you want to."

"What? No, I don't want to go anywhere." He waved his hands in front of his face. " 'Sides, I have nowhere to go anyway."

"Why don't you go do whatever it was you did before you joined us? After the Patrol, I mean."

"I didn't do anything."

Raven suddenly felt bad. This wasn't the way she wanted the conversation to go. "Do you know where Robin is?"

Beast Boy shrugged. "He's at some last minute interview. Something about him changing his name."

"I always did tell him he should hire a press secretary. Stops things like that from happening."

"Well, Robin never was a fan of listening to people who aren't himself."

"I think you're right. It's like how he says he isn't going to vote when he's of legal age. The candidates won't leave him alone during election season, and he doesn't even influence anything."

"Well," he cracked his fingers, "He hasn't always been drawn to the good sides a' those kindsa things. Remember last year? He was accused of sabotage against an elected official in a political race he wasn't even running in. Those government dudes are idiots."

"Indeed. Things haven't been turning out so well for him in the long run."

"Nah."

The was a lapse of silence in which Raven disappeared behind her book, and Beast Boy found his feet very interesting. Nobody else was in the tower, it was quieter than it had been in weeks. It wasn't long before Beast Boy gathered his courage, reached across the table, and pulled Raven's novel from in front of her face. He made eye contact with her, and was suddenly very serious.

"Rachel?"

She was listening.

"We can't be the Teen Titans forever… if we can't, then what will you do?"

Raven was almost at a loss. As she gazed into his solid green eyes, she realized that she didn't know. Maybe she'd have to decide very quickly one day what she would do if the Titans were no more. So she did just that.

"I would return to Azerath. Rebuild it."

"And what about me? What would I do?"

"Garfield, maybe…maybe you'd come with me. Just maybe."

"I think…I could live with that. Just maybe."

---

**Ho hum. I do wonder what happens next, you know. I'm sure we all do.**

**And I know that technically Raven's real name isn't Rachel, but it makes it more special, don't you think?**

**-Feathers**


End file.
